Chapter 70: Confession

I have eagerly awaited like others too, only to see the crimson makeup of countless white bones.

我也曾心怀期待期期盼，却见累累白骨是红妆。

I have longed for my husband too, only to find the nobleman''s door as deep as the sea and the back courtyard full of lurking wolves and tigers, each step making my heart tremble.

我也曾心驰神往望夫郎，却见侯门深似海，后院如狼虎步步皆惊心。

I have also sought good friends from high places, only to hear how people judge women''s reputations from the pleasure house.

我也曾登高求良友，却只闻青楼女子名节评。

I, too, have...

我也曾…

I also want to throw myself into my lover''s arms without reservation, but I''m afraid the west wind will bring more rain to the phoenix tree, and the raging fire will be fueled anew.

我也想不顾一切扑向郎君怀，怕只怕西风又送梧桐雨，怕只怕烈火中又添新油。

I''m afraid the unfortunate girl will become the ill-fated one, and I''m so scared that leaving the wolf''s den will only lead to the tiger''s lair.

怕只怕苦命女又成薄命女，怕只怕未出狼窝又进虎窝。

The most heartbreaking thing in life is when people in love dare not love each other.

人生最是心酸事，有情人不敢爱有情人。

I''m afraid there''s no way out in the future, and I''ll lose my life in total darkness.

我怕前路无出路，一黑到底把命丢。

I am afraid the path forward is dead-end, and it is hard for us to meet in heaven or on earth.

我怕前进是绝路，天上人间难相逢。

I''m afraid fate will mock us, making our efforts to catch the moon in the water all in vain.

我怕命运来捉弄，让你我水中捞月一场空。

I''m afraid I can''t bear the consequences, and in the end, I''ll become a wisp of fragrant soul severed from the mortal world.

我怕后果难承担，到头来成了一缕香魂断红尘。

People say the world is beautiful, but all I see is grayness, and even the mountains and rivers lose their colors.

人说世间多美好，我只觉灰色沉沉山河也失了颜色。

There are countless fates in life, and I have walked into a dead end.

人的命运千万种，我已走进死胡同。

There is no way out of this dead end. All I can do is sink deeper.

死胡同中无出路，